Few actors have remained as loved as Madhoo since ‘Roja’ made her a household name decades ago. On meeting her, I was struck by her warmth, honesty, and ability to reach out. As she balances a new phase of her career, family life, and a deep commitment to helping young people navigate self-worth, Madhoo reflects on the lessons life has taught her…
By Andrea CostaBir
You’re currently balancing an exciting mix of projects — from South Indian films to Hindi collaborations with Manoj Bajpayee, and another project with Anil Kapoor and filmmaker Hansal Mehta. Tell us more about your current and upcoming projects.
I have four projects that are ready for release. Two are from the South. One that I’m especially excited about is a Malayalam-Tamil bilingual shot entirely in Kashi, Benaras. I play a Tamil woman settled in Kerala. Being the lead in a film like that has been one of the most exciting experiences of my life. The second is an Amazon show from Hyderabad, a Telugu project where I play a matriarch in a musical gharana alongside Prakash Raj and other senior actors. My two Hindi projects are ‘The Governor’ with Manoj Bajpayee and ‘Family Business’, a Netflix series under Hansal Mehta with Anil Kapoor, Vijay Varma, Rhea Chakraborty and many others.
Being part of four completely different worlds at the same time was one of the most enriching experiences of my life.
Looking back at your early years and the success you enjoyed, how do you reflect on that phase today? Does it influence the choices you make now?
No, I make sure it doesn’t. In the ‘90s, my dream was simply to be an actor and see myself on the big screen. Later, when I returned to work around 2011–12 after becoming a mother, my priorities were completely different. I took roles that required only two or three days because I didn’t want to be away from my children.
Today, my children are grown up and I look for substantial roles. If a good project asks me to travel anywhere, I’m ready. My circumstances have changed, so my choices have changed. I’m proud of my legacy, but nothing I did in the ‘90s has a bearing on me as an artiste today. The artiste in me is still growing.
You’ve said that actors are not just actors, but individuals with many dimensions. How has your identity beyond cinema evolved over the years?
For a very long time, if someone asked me who I was, I would say, ‘I am an actor’. But I’ve realised that being an actor is only a small part of my life. Am I a wife? A mother? Someone who lends her voice to causes? A spiritual person who likes to pray? I am all of that Today, I understand that everything is a part of me, and nothing is the whole of me. Acting is a job that I do. When I’m not acting, I’m living my life like anyone else. I am much more than an actor.
A big part of your life now is being an advocate for mental health and happiness, especially among young people. What inspired you to take on this role so actively?
When I only identified as an actor, free time felt lonely. I would ask myself, ‘If I’m not acting, who wants me?’ That led to feelings of insecurity and not being good enough. Over time, I found strength in friendships, prayer, walking, singing and dancing for myself — not for an audience. That made me realise how fragile young people can feel today because they constantly compare themselves with others.
You don’t have to become the next Sundar Pichai or a famous journalist to be successful. If you are educated, working honestly, earning enough to sustain yourself and living a good life, that is success. Today’s generation compares their lives to Instagram highlights. I want young people to understand that life is much bigger than one glamorous picture. If you have good friends, family, a pet and a sense of purpose, you already have a happy life.
You’ve observed that today’s generation struggles more with resilience, often due to comparison and social media. What, in your view, is the simplest way for young people to reconnect with happiness?
Use your hands and legs. When you live in your body, you don’t live in your head. Run, walk, dance, paint, cook, stitch or work out. The moment you use your body, your mind slows down. That is the quickest way to reconnect with happiness.
Whenever I feel low, I walk, run on a treadmill or start cooking. When you use your hands and your legs, it becomes much harder to stay trapped in negative thoughts. It’s a simple physical hack, and it really works.
You often say that the purpose of life is to be happy — even while dreams take time to unfold. How do you personally stay grounded in that belief?
When I feel sad, I don’t bypass my emotions. I cry. Tears are a beautiful part of the journey. Cry for your disappointments, your frustrations and your losses. But once the tears dry up, don’t keep reliving the pain in your head.
I remind myself that life is still ahead. Picture abhi baaki hai. If I want to live a healthy life for a hundred years, I cannot destroy myself because one dream didn’t come true today.
Maybe what you want at 30 is meant for you at 70. Boman Irani became an actor after 50. Jane Fonda reinvented herself later in life. Live long enough and stay healthy enough to receive what life still has in store for you. If you give up at 25 because something didn’t happen, how will you ever know what is waiting for you at 50, 70 or even 90?
On the personal front, you’ve built a long and enduring marriage. What has been the key to nurturing that relationship over the years?
That you don’t quit. I’ve been married for 27 years and have known my husband for 30 years. Believe me, there have been many days when I haven’t felt in love with him. There have been days when I wanted to kill him. But we don’t quit on each other.
There is no tit for tat. I never want to lose my integrity, my ability to forgive or my capacity to care. Relationships are not built because everything is perfect every day. They are built despite things not being perfect.
Marriage is not just about love. It’s about showing up, forgiving, letting go and staying through the difficult phases. It’s not because you love every day. It’s because you forgive every day.
With your elder daughter stepping into marriage and your younger one shaping her own path, how are you experiencing this phase of motherhood?
It’s very different and very challenging. My elder daughter looks to me for advice, but I believe children learn more from how we live than from what we say. I hope she has seen that disagreements are natural, but forgiveness and returning to love are important.
My younger daughter wanted to be an actor. She trained for it, but later realised she didn’t enjoy certain aspects of the industry. She worried about what people would say if she changed direction. I told her, ‘It’s your life. Don’t let anyone else define your success’. Today, she’s studying through Harvard Business School and thriving.
The lesson is simple: If something doesn’t feel right, you have every right to change your path. Don’t live for your peers. Live for yourself. Sometimes strength lies not in continuing down the same road, but in choosing a different one.
Considering the way you look, fitness and self-care clearly play an important role in your life. What does your wellness routine look like today, and how does it shape your mental and emotional balance?
I live in my body. Movement is the most important thing for me. It’s not gym life that defines me. It’s walking in the park, daily yoga, climbing stairs and walking my dog. Fitness is waking up in the morning and being able to jump out of bed feeling happy.
Sometimes I eat pani puri. Sometimes I eat rasgullas. This is the mango season, and I enjoy mangoes. But I also know when to stop. Nobody tells me when to indulge and when to hold back — I make that decision myself. My goal is not deprivation. My goal is balance. I want to live as healthily as I can for as long as I can.
You’ve spoken about your family member, superstar actress and politician Hema Malini, being a major inspiration in your life. What is the most valuable lesson you’ve learned from her?
Dignity in silence. All of you know Hema Malini and all of you know her life. But have you ever heard her publicly complain about people, situations or hardships she may have faced? Never. Does that mean she didn’t face difficulties? Of course, she did. But she carried herself with dignity and never made her struggles a public story.
That is the lesson I take from Hemaji — solve your problems in your own life and resolve your issues with grace. Not everyone needs to know everything.
Looking at where you stand today — balancing films, family and a deeper purpose — would you say that you are living a truly meaningful life?
I would like to answer this when I am 100, because life is always a work in progress. Today, I’m speaking to you from a happy place, but life is not always like that. It goes up and down. Sometimes I may not live in the best possible way. Maybe I slip up. Maybe I cry more than I should. Maybe I don’t work out.
But my goals are in the right place. My heart is in the right place. I try to live the most authentic and aligned life possible. Sometimes it may not be in its best form — and that’s okay too.
