Dear Reader,
T-H-A-P-A-K and a billion shattered dreams characterised me – the bahu of a respected family just having rupees 750 in my bank account, bewilderment at the cruelty and abuse inflicted upon me by my husband and in-laws, the dreams in my heart, and the grit and determination to survive. I said to myself, “I must amount to something in life. No one will ever trample upon me again because I will be a ‘somebody’.”
I was willing to endure my abusive marriage because ‘good Indian girls’ like me didn’t go through a divorce. And then came the night that changed it all. After a particularly bad bout of vitriolic abuse, I was thrown out of my marital home. That single event changed the course of my life. From a beaten, bruised, abused woman, I became a champion for legal rights and set up India’s first non-judgemental support group, 360 Degrees Back to Life, for those going through divorce.
Simultaneously, I decided to fight for justice – my own divorce battle. It turned out to be a long, tumultuous, frustrating battle that ended after nearly a decade. Each hearing was painful, having to put up with the litany of lawyers and their changing stances, the mounting expenses of fighting in what seemed to be a futile case, the taunts of an unforgiving society, and the sheer vulnerability of being an almost single-again woman.
Slowly, I was inching towards my goal to develop my own identity, sans the suffix of a powerful married surname. Finally, I got freedom – the legal and societal independence from the bonds of a terrible marriage. During the course of my divorce, when I pointed out a fact to my divorce lawyer, she ridiculed me by saying, “When you become a lawyer, then give me your suggestions”, and never one to back down from a challenge, I took up studying law, and it was hard, but today when I meet my exdivorce lawyer in court, the sweet smell of having been victorious in a challenge by a detractor feels good.
That’s the beauty of detractors. Don’t let them run you down, but use their negativity to spur you to achieve further. After my divorce, I embraced my role as a Justice Warrior. I published a news magazine on divorce. Then came the book, ‘Ex Files’, published by Penguin Random House under the Shobhaa De Books imprint. This book was endorsed by Padma Vibhushan awardee Dr Sonal Mansingh and (the late) Lord Meghnad Desai, and launched by legal luminaries like former Attorney General of India Mukul Rohatgi and former Chief Justice of Bombay High Court Mohit Shah, amongst others.
Furthermore, I collaborated with Priyanka Chopra for a film centred around the law.
My divorce also led me to study and practise law. After the divorce, I thought I was done with court, but the calls from distressed and abused women who were in a similar predicament led me back. This time as a lawyer, not a litigant. Initially, it was gut-wrenching, but slowly, the cause of helping others to get justice and their victories made me realise that this was the mission chosen for me by God. Being a lawyer is a matter of pride, and I encourage everyone and especially women, to become empowered by studying law. You’ll find it a life-empowering experience. Like I say, “Women in white court collars are superwomen.”
Currently, my hands are full with high-profile divorce cases and pro-bono cases; no wonder the media has dubbed me as, ‘India’s Top Divorce Lawyer’.
My efforts gained international recognition when the BBC’ made a documentary featuring my work. I was also interviewed by the BBC’ on law and the situation of divorce in India. I wrote columns for domestic and international media. And I continue to be quoted by national and international media right from ‘The Times of India’ to ‘BBC’, ‘CBC’, ‘French TV’ and ‘Vice Media’ as an expert on the subject. I was also associated with the National Commission for Women.
I have been conferred with awards like Best Woman Lawyer of India, Top 50 Iconic Women of India and the Karamveer Puruskar. Each is a milestone in my journey from victim to victor.
My positivity is perhaps inherited. My father, Wing Cdr Sanwal Shah, was a patriotic Indian Air Force pilot and my beautiful mom, Charan, my biggest cheerleader. They both encouraged me to pursue excellence. Despite being orphaned early, losing both my parents to cancer, my parents’ teachings helped me to emerge victorious.
On podcasts, with award-winning podcasters like Raj Shamani, Sharan Hegde, Ted-Ex and Humans of Bombay, among others, I speak candidly about my struggles and victories so that these inspire others to think that nothing is impossible. I continue to write, with my new book ‘Pali Hill Divorces’ being published by Penguin Random House, and continue my fight for justice.
My life philosophies are simple:
• “Be Brave and Conquer the World.”
• “It is better to elevate yourself than bring down another.”
• “Above everything is GOD.”
Sincerely,
Advocate Vandana Shah
Author, Lawyer & Social Entrepreneur
